Following up on last night’s idea, one more idea for the philosophy and The Onion collection. A point/counterpoint on Newcomb’s Problem.

Leaving Money on the Table is Dumb, Dumb, Dumb; vs.
If You’re So Smart, Why Ain’cha Rich?

I know the second heading has been used before, but probably not for an Onion-style article. The text of these articles is left as an exercise for the reader.